[WELL WHEN YOU PUT IT LIKE THAT, NOW IT FEELS DUMB!]
Because I don't- [Okay. Puts down glass to gesture to Zack with both hands, like "focus here"] I'm not saying Aerith is someone or something to steal away either, but I don't wanna take any more from you. Including opportunities. I'm not gonna be happy if you're upset or like, hate any of this! And I don't thing Aerith would be either, so- So, I'm only okay with trying it if you're okay with trying it, and if you get not okay with it then I'm done. Not you.
Zack exhales deeply at that, burying his face in his hands for a long moment. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hang on.]
Don't call it taking more from me. It wasn't like you did that on purpose anyway, and I'm still not mad about it.
[Much as he sort of wishes he could forget about it, sometimes, he still can't blame Cloud for the fact that it happened, so.
He drags his hands down his face to rest them on the table, leaning back in his chair.]
I don't hate it. I'm... okay with this. I think it's worth trying. No- we deserve to try it. All of us. And you know I'm not the kind of guy who'll give up just because something might be hard.
[And this could be just that. It could be very difficult. In the time since Aerith first told him, he's tried in bursts to imagine her kissing Cloud instead of him, and it's hard sometimes. Makes him antsy. But sometimes it's also... kind of hot, and he's not sure how to unpack that. The fact that it isn't all negative is reason enough for him to give pause and not immediately reject the idea. Right? Right.
He pushes aside the bottle - enough of that, actually - and looks up, focusing properly on Cloud at last.]
[Zack can say he's not mad about it until the sun burns out and Cloud will still be guilty forever! He's decided and no amount of therapy he won't get will ever fix that ok bye
Still, instantly:] 'Course I do. And Aerith too. [It's not a matter of him not trusting them, though maybe it is now that he thinks about it? He is freaked out by the idea of Zack getting jealous. If he gets jealous- well, he doesn't have the right to, so he probably won't. ...probably.]
[There's something weirdly humbling about being so immediately trusted like that, especially considering Cloud doesn't remember most of the shit they went through for him to earn that trust. He blinks for a moment, taken aback, then shakes it off and lets a smile creep over his expression.]
Okay, well... you've got our answer, then. You just gotta figure out your own.
[He can't guarantee this'll go perfectly, nor will he even try to do so. But he can damn well do his best. What more can anyone ask for? Anyway, he hates regrets. He'd regret saying no without giving it a shot.]
[He's...almost there. A kind of wild, carefree fuck it floating around in his head, like maybe he can actually try to grab for something nice rather than scrabbling to stay just ahead of the tsunami, for once.
Cloud rubs the back of his neck, fingers scratching just barely up into his hair at the base of his skull. Thinking.] ...what if this makes it so we hate each other?
[He can't ever let that happen. He can't ever come to hate Zack, or make Zack hate him. Cloud doesn't understand it but it genuinely seems like Zack likes him, and he can't throw that away on a 'maybe.']
[A very fair question, fair enough that even Zack has to give it the thought it deserves, even if, to him, the answer is immediate. Cloud's worried about this, and Cloud's attachment to him is probably more fragile, what with all the lost memories. In this, like in all things, he cannot speak for Cloud.
God, though. Even if he pauses to think about it, his answer doesn't change one little bit.]
I'm not the most altruistic guy in the world. I'll be the first in line to say that. But seriously, man... I could never hate you. You're just as important to me as Aerith is.
[They walked through hell together. Even if Cloud's lost it, Zack remembers. He remembers the days when Cloud's presence was all that kept him sane. Even a girl as wonderful as Aerith couldn't break that bond. She could absolutely dump him for Cloud and he'd still view the guy as his best friend.]
[So...much of that sounds like it cannot possibly be true, but Cloud's not about to start a fight over specifics. That's not what Zack's saying here anyway. Point taken from that: Zack doesn't want to hate him either. So, if they can agree on that...the very basic shit, that none of them want to end up hating each other, then maybe they can just give it a shot.
Cloud's already nodding absently, staring down at the table, before snapping out of it and giving a more purposeful nod as he sighs and sits up straight.] Okay. Right. Then...let's try. And if something goes wrong, then we just...figure it out or- or whatever. [Or give up. But that'll be him, for sure. If it doesn't work out, Cloud is going to back down before either Aerith or Zack has a chance to do it first. That's the only fair way.]
[...Weird. Zack had been trying to coax him into trying, sure, but Cloud agreeing to it makes him feel a lot happier than he'd thought it would. Then again, why shouldn't it? Surely it'll only be a net benefit to him. The people he loves will be happier. Aerith will get to express what she's feeling with both of them. And yeah, maybe he'll have to see Cloud kiss her outright to know if he'll feel jealous, but they're not competing for it. She's gonna kiss him, too. The mental image is actually... kinda nice.
So in the end Zack relaxes in his seat, smiling across the table at Cloud.]
Okay. No pressure, yeah? Go at your own pace, and we'll do it together. We're a team! [Co... boyfriends. Or they will be, if Aerith agrees. Speaking of-] Should we call her over and ask? Or do you wanna talk to her one on one?
[He's not sure if it would come of as too much of an ambush, even if it's something she'd said she wanted. Hey, we talked, and we decided we'll both date you!
Maybe...one at a time. [Taps a couple fingers on the table, chewing on his lip in consideration.] She was so nervous when it was just me talking to her...I don't want her to feel overwhelmed or like she has to reassure us both.
[It's very weird. He's been trying to think about it, test how he feels about Aerith being with someone else instead of him, but it just...doesn't show up in his head. Even if he can see it in his mind's eye, Zack helping Aerith in her garden, them standing with their heads together in the kitchen as they make dinner, them gently combing through the feathers on their new Legend wings, he doesn't feel it.
Replaced.
He just feels...home.] Yeah. One-on-one, I think. No pressure that way.
[Zack exhales a breath, feeling weirdly lighthearted, a stark contrast to the heavy conversation they just had. He reaches out to snag the bottle one more time, capping it rather than pouring another shot. All that worrying, and they sorted it out like goddamn adults. Points to them.]
Tell her to give me a ping if she wants to see me after. We should probably have a talk, too. [Probably. Well, at the very least he'll want to check in. But they can have all the time they need until then, it's not like there's a time crunch.] ...Hey, Cloud? I'm glad you brought this up. I think it'll be okay, but... whatever happens, I've got your back, promise.
[Not so sure about that; why would Zack ever have Cloud's back before Aerith's? But he doesn't want it to turn into a situation where Zack would need to pick between them anyway.
-loyalty wise. Obviously not romantically, it's not like he and Zack are dating each other too.]
Why don't you talk to Aerith first and then send her my way? Since she and I already talked about it and I told her it would be okay. She might be more worried about what you think, she already knows what I think.
You don't think it'd be a little out there for me to go to her first and be like, "Cloud and I talked and he's gonna date you if you wanna"? I really think she should hear it from you, man.
[He's not sure what else she'd need from him. He can call her up and give her his blessing to do whatever she wants, but he assumes she'd trust Cloud if he told her Zack was cool with it. And it's not like she needs his permission, she just needs to know he won't consider it cheating or whatever.]
No, I mean- so you can tell her you're cool with it. [She needs to hear from Zack that he's okay with it first!! What's she gonna do, just take Cloud's word????]
[GODS! Okay then, do that! Cloud gestures like, go ahead before burying his head in his hands, trying to sort out why he feels almost as nervous as Zack just texting Aerith that he's totally down with sharing while Cloud's sitting right there. Then again, he still doesn't understand why someone would want to date him when they already have Zackary Fair, but if he got hung up on every single thing he didn't understand he'd be in fucking outer space.]
[brb texting Aerith. He's vague in part for Cloud's sake, to let him give her the good news (it's something she wants, something she deserves, and texting it outright is just tacky when Cloud could have the chance to see her face light up in person, it's so cute) and in part because it's bound to be more fun this way. Let her be pleasantly surprised. He just tells her that Cloud's going to visit her soon, and that he's cool with everything, so she doesn't have to worry about him. And no, he will not answer questions!
..And then maybe he texts her a little longer than necessary doing the written equivalent of "no you hang up" until he finally flips his comm shut and sits up in his chair, stretching a leg out to bump his foot against Cloud's knee, pushing his chair away from the table a bit.]
[Cloud takes a few extra seconds to allow himself to be a coward, to let himself spiral just a bit (what if she hates this, what if he hates this, what if I hate this, what if we all start to hate each other) before steeling himself. Nothing to be scared about; Aerith suggested they try this out, kind of. And Zack is cool to try, and (bewilderingly) is determined not to resent the guy who stole his history and half his personality to boot. The sheer amount of baseless trust at work here is dizzying.
Then he slaps his hands (carefully) atop the table and shoves himself to his feet. He says,] M'kay, [turns and heads out the door. He'll just go right next door and go talk to her right now! And then maybe Zack will come by a bit later and they can just...be in each other's presence while they get used to- this. Whatever 'this' ends up being.]
[ Aerith can admit to being a little bit of a wreck from the whole situation.
Her first instinct, every time, is to protect Zack and Cloud; to take care of them, to make sure they're never upset, or hurt, or angry. She's rational enough to realise that it isn't something she can really do, that she doesn't have the power to protect them from the world, but... She wishes she did. She especially wishes that it wasn't something she had admitted that was causing such problems now.
She jumps when she hears her front door, sliding out of the kitchen to hover in the hallway, wiping her hands on the apron wrapped around her. She must look like a nervous wreck! ]
So, uh. He's cool with trying it out, and...I am too. [Different degrees of 'cool with it' maybe, but they're in agreement to give it a shot.] -if you still want to. ...be with...me. [what if instead he was just killed right here tho]
[ Aerith is nervous, a little shy, cheeks flushed and not really able to lift her head to look at him, but she reaches to squeeze his hands, familiar and comfortable a motion now. ]
Uh yeah, I'm pretty sure that's a boat we're all in. [When in his life has he even ever been with a girl like that? Or anyone, for that matter? Shit, he doesn't even remember if he'd ever kissed anyone. He definitely hadn't when he'd left Nibelheim, and those two years in Midgar are a blur still.] -wanna be my first kiss? Probably, I think.
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Because I don't- [Okay. Puts down glass to gesture to Zack with both hands, like "focus here"] I'm not saying Aerith is someone or something to steal away either, but I don't wanna take any more from you. Including opportunities. I'm not gonna be happy if you're upset or like, hate any of this! And I don't thing Aerith would be either, so- So, I'm only okay with trying it if you're okay with trying it, and if you get not okay with it then I'm done. Not you.
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Zack exhales deeply at that, burying his face in his hands for a long moment. Okay. Okay. Okay. Hang on.]
Don't call it taking more from me. It wasn't like you did that on purpose anyway, and I'm still not mad about it.
[Much as he sort of wishes he could forget about it, sometimes, he still can't blame Cloud for the fact that it happened, so.
He drags his hands down his face to rest them on the table, leaning back in his chair.]
I don't hate it. I'm... okay with this. I think it's worth trying. No- we deserve to try it. All of us. And you know I'm not the kind of guy who'll give up just because something might be hard.
[And this could be just that. It could be very difficult. In the time since Aerith first told him, he's tried in bursts to imagine her kissing Cloud instead of him, and it's hard sometimes. Makes him antsy. But sometimes it's also... kind of hot, and he's not sure how to unpack that. The fact that it isn't all negative is reason enough for him to give pause and not immediately reject the idea. Right? Right.
He pushes aside the bottle - enough of that, actually - and looks up, focusing properly on Cloud at last.]
Do you trust me?
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Still, instantly:] 'Course I do. And Aerith too. [It's not a matter of him not trusting them, though maybe it is now that he thinks about it? He is freaked out by the idea of Zack getting jealous. If he gets jealous- well, he doesn't have the right to, so he probably won't. ...probably.]
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Okay, well... you've got our answer, then. You just gotta figure out your own.
[He can't guarantee this'll go perfectly, nor will he even try to do so. But he can damn well do his best. What more can anyone ask for? Anyway, he hates regrets. He'd regret saying no without giving it a shot.]
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Cloud rubs the back of his neck, fingers scratching just barely up into his hair at the base of his skull. Thinking.] ...what if this makes it so we hate each other?
[He can't ever let that happen. He can't ever come to hate Zack, or make Zack hate him. Cloud doesn't understand it but it genuinely seems like Zack likes him, and he can't throw that away on a 'maybe.']
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God, though. Even if he pauses to think about it, his answer doesn't change one little bit.]
I'm not the most altruistic guy in the world. I'll be the first in line to say that. But seriously, man... I could never hate you. You're just as important to me as Aerith is.
[They walked through hell together. Even if Cloud's lost it, Zack remembers. He remembers the days when Cloud's presence was all that kept him sane. Even a girl as wonderful as Aerith couldn't break that bond. She could absolutely dump him for Cloud and he'd still view the guy as his best friend.]
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Cloud's already nodding absently, staring down at the table, before snapping out of it and giving a more purposeful nod as he sighs and sits up straight.] Okay. Right. Then...let's try. And if something goes wrong, then we just...figure it out or- or whatever. [Or give up. But that'll be him, for sure. If it doesn't work out, Cloud is going to back down before either Aerith or Zack has a chance to do it first. That's the only fair way.]
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So in the end Zack relaxes in his seat, smiling across the table at Cloud.]
Okay. No pressure, yeah? Go at your own pace, and we'll do it together. We're a team! [Co... boyfriends. Or they will be, if Aerith agrees. Speaking of-] Should we call her over and ask? Or do you wanna talk to her one on one?
[He's not sure if it would come of as too much of an ambush, even if it's something she'd said she wanted. Hey, we talked, and we decided we'll both date you!
Maybe a little weird.]
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[It's very weird. He's been trying to think about it, test how he feels about Aerith being with someone else instead of him, but it just...doesn't show up in his head. Even if he can see it in his mind's eye, Zack helping Aerith in her garden, them standing with their heads together in the kitchen as they make dinner, them gently combing through the feathers on their new Legend wings, he doesn't feel it.
Replaced.
He just feels...home.] Yeah. One-on-one, I think. No pressure that way.
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[Zack exhales a breath, feeling weirdly lighthearted, a stark contrast to the heavy conversation they just had. He reaches out to snag the bottle one more time, capping it rather than pouring another shot. All that worrying, and they sorted it out like goddamn adults. Points to them.]
Tell her to give me a ping if she wants to see me after. We should probably have a talk, too. [Probably. Well, at the very least he'll want to check in. But they can have all the time they need until then, it's not like there's a time crunch.] ...Hey, Cloud? I'm glad you brought this up. I think it'll be okay, but... whatever happens, I've got your back, promise.
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-loyalty wise. Obviously not romantically, it's not like he and Zack are dating each other too.]
Why don't you talk to Aerith first and then send her my way? Since she and I already talked about it and I told her it would be okay. She might be more worried about what you think, she already knows what I think.
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[He's not sure what else she'd need from him. He can call her up and give her his blessing to do whatever she wants, but he assumes she'd trust Cloud if he told her Zack was cool with it. And it's not like she needs his permission, she just needs to know he won't consider it cheating or whatever.]
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That's it? I can just text her, hang on.
[Pulling out his comm to do just that. This will definitely solve the problem.]
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..And then maybe he texts her a little longer than necessary doing the written equivalent of "no you hang up" until he finally flips his comm shut and sits up in his chair, stretching a leg out to bump his foot against Cloud's knee, pushing his chair away from the table a bit.]
Done! Now you can go tell her the good news.
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Then he slaps his hands (carefully) atop the table and shoves himself to his feet. He says,] M'kay, [turns and heads out the door. He'll just go right next door and go talk to her right now! And then maybe Zack will come by a bit later and they can just...be in each other's presence while they get used to- this. Whatever 'this' ends up being.]
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Her first instinct, every time, is to protect Zack and Cloud; to take care of them, to make sure they're never upset, or hurt, or angry. She's rational enough to realise that it isn't something she can really do, that she doesn't have the power to protect them from the world, but... She wishes she did. She especially wishes that it wasn't something she had admitted that was causing such problems now.
She jumps when she hears her front door, sliding out of the kitchen to hover in the hallway, wiping her hands on the apron wrapped around her. She must look like a nervous wreck! ]
... Cloud?
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[ we aren't smart in this rp -
She shifts a little awkwardly. ]
So...?
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So, uh. He's cool with trying it out, and...I am too. [Different degrees of 'cool with it' maybe, but they're in agreement to give it a shot.] -if you still want to. ...be with...me. [what if instead he was just killed right here tho]
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[ Aerith is nervous, a little shy, cheeks flushed and not really able to lift her head to look at him, but she reaches to squeeze his hands, familiar and comfortable a motion now. ]
I want you, Cloud.
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