Cloud's default is pissed at me for the sin of being alive; he'll be furious no matter what, I mean something beyond his usual baseline of ready, willing and looking for reasons.
It's been made regularly clear to me that how I feel affects nothing, so I've no need to share on that front beyond the feeling that I still want this weapon. I do. And apparently there's a thing certain people can do, priests and the like, which can actually purge malevolent spirits and forces from objects and or people. It might be a big problem in some places if there's people who do it as a profession.
i can give him a heads up and check in to see what hed do but it kinda sounds like you made up your mind already i cant blame you everybody knows masamune is a badass sword but the jenova thing freaks me out ngl
you should have somebody with you if you get it who could help take it to whatever exorcist and get the jenova out of it? youre doin great on your own you dont need her and id hate to see her ruin anything for you id do it, probably vincent if u asked
also who is telling you how you feel is irrelevant ill kick their ass
There is a fine set of lines between "This is something I want", "This will annoy people or maintain the status quo of hatred and fear," and "This is something that's going to actively cause my next death, possibly several". While it doesn't stick it's not exactly comfortable and I prefer to avoid it.
My acquisition of Masamune's blade is going to require Thirteen sending me back, and then retrieving me again once I kill the blacksmith, which may be making a lot of getting ahead of myself. In spite of her efforts at comfort and protection, I know how that story ends.
Nobody needs to say it for it to be clear. I do understand that there are more important things, don't worry. It won't interfere.
i get that. u having masamune wouldnt make me get all violent with u unless it DID corrupt u and then id just steal it. but if u can get it exorcised or w/e then i'll see if i can get cloud on board we're kind of things are extra bad rn. aerith got sent home. so now's kind of a bad time to be bringing u up even if its not actually your fault it aint fair but we're working on it
cant u just like. ask for it, with the spoon, without going back? i mean its yours. even if u havent gotten it yet. hell i bet i could ask for it ive been around it enough. ive gotten a bunch of shit i never owned back home unless u asked her and thirteen told u that and if thats the case then she sucks more than usual this month
u know what seph i think u need to get better at telling people to fuck off i get not wanting to say it with cloud but like with other people? tell them fuck off if they make u think ur feels dont matter def say it to me if i give u that impression. bc if i do i dont mean it and im sorry
dude i suck at texting long form can i like send u voicemails if u dont want to do this on a phone call
I can manage up to a point and then I start messin' up my own words. Sorry, brain-to-fingers was never gonna be my strong suit. Is this okay? It's fine if you wanna take your time with stuff.
[Zack did offer a compromise! Kid's gotta learn to hold the line eventually...
The mention of Aerith does net him a long pause on Zack's end, and afterwards, a heavier exhale than intended.]
...Thanks, kid. We're gettin' through it. Maybe don't, uh. If you get the sword, don't take it out around Cloud if you can help it. It's what he used.
[To kill her, that is. Probably obvious, considering it's such a known signature weapon for the future Sephiroth, but it's best to make sure the poor kid knows. He's already been dealt an awful hand in life.]
Before Nibelheim, I didn't have any bad memories or issues with Masamune. That Sephiroth used it to help people and get rid of real dangerous monsters. He saved my life with it, a bunch of times. It was... just the sword my friend used. It can be that again, if that's what you really want.
I know who used it, that's what led to this entire conversation.
[That fine line between an irritation and something that'll get him killed, the risk of provoking more than anger.]
I can't ever forget, not for one moment. Everything I want to do, every item I want, everything I enjoy, every goal, everything has to be weighed against him. Is it something he'd want, is it something he'd done, or would use, or would think of? Has he used it to hurt someone else, or frighten them, or threaten them? Everything.
[A sword is simply the most obvious. He knew as soon as he'd seen it that it was the same weapon. Probably his alternate selves had felt the same pull, wanted it just as much.
He already knows how selfish it is to even think about it, the wavering uncertainty in his tone is a mark of that much. It's a bad thing to want. To become more like him. To do it knowingly. Anyone who's ever seen his grown self and that sword, through some shared memory or experience, would be affected and not for the better.]
It's.. heh. It's not really fair of me is it. I want something, so other people should just deal with it? I don't even know if I want it because it's a masterwork or because she told me it's mine.
...So... like. I think I can guess your answer [he kind of just said a lot of it, tbh, but it's Zack and he's gotta know, he's gotta push-] but I wanna hear it anyway. Why are the rules different for you? You gotta deal with not having a thing you want because other people don't? You're doing your best, man. You haven't even done anything wrong but you're taking everything in and trying to do better. Changing the future, training way more than you should have to, not ever thinking about yourself, c'mon. He was a grown-ass man and you're a kid, and you're doing way more to fight her bullshit than he ever did.
[He doesn't exactly hate the grown Sephiroth for what happened. It's... easier for him not to. Most of it he's only heard secondhand, even the part where he killed Aerith, something unforgivable. He was there for Nibelheim, yes, he'd yelled and fought and hated all the needless death and suffering. But they were friends, too. He saw Sephiroth help people, save people. It's done good. Sephiroth did good. Knowing for certain that Jenova was alive enough to influence people into doing evil helps alleviate so much anger (more than he'll ever admit to Cloud).]
His sins shouldn't be on you. It's enough for you to not want to end up like that, if you ask me. Y'don't have to drown in it.
If you wanted something you knew would hurt other people, I'd also be suggesting it probably isn't a good idea, no matter how much you want it.
[Though he's good at schooling emotion, there's still a distinct ribbon of unhappiness.]
Unfortunately, 'shouldn't' doesn't change anything. I have a chance here he never had, and it's up to me to make up for him never having that chance. No magic fox whisked him away to a place where he could learn the dreams were bullshit at all. They feel so real when you're in them, you can believe she loves you the way no-one ever had before or ever would, that she'd protect you so you don't have to fight anymore. She makes you feel it, and it feels like everything that's been missing all your life that you've always wanted.
[If he didn't know. If he didn't know what it was.. he'd break under it too.
He wished his future self had the chance to know too, before it was too late. He wanted those dreams too by the sound of it, dull and painful and full of longing, but at least he knew it wasn't real.]
And then.. there she is, in front of you, waiting with open arms. No longer a dream. I don't know how he got out of Robio intact, forget about Nibelheim.
Sometimes you get to be a jackass in the eyes of other people. Doesn't mean you are. You can't change how they feel, and you can't base everything you do on making them happy. Or I guess- not making them not happy? You get it.
[It's entirely possible that Cloud will never see anything Sephiroth does in this world as good or acceptable, that his very presence is intolerable. That's not a thing either of them can force away. Zack doesn't want Cloud to be hurt, and he sure as hell doesn't want Sephiroth to get a sword that could make the whole Jenova corruption worse. It sure sounds like it'll make it worse.
But the worst case scenario started with him finding out about Jenova, which he already knows. And as far as Zack knows (or could tell) he used Masamune for years before she fried his brain. Which means there's time. There's hope. He wants to believe there can be some kind of better future, even if it isn't for any of them. Someone should get that future, somewhere.]
Why not just go for it? Let me be there with you. Get the sword. We'll take it to whatever magic alien exorcist or whatev you want, I'll make sure you go through with it. I'll keep it away from you if it doesn't work and she tries to screw with your head. Until we figure something else out. I've got your back, Seph.
[At least he knows it's all nonsense, at the very best being simply seen as a part of Jenova and thus something to 'care for' as any living thing cares for itself. He knows it's not real, no matter how much he wished otherwise. It's all just tools of manipulation, and he won't fall prey to that.
It'll have to be an outright contest of wills, to get control of Sephiroth now.]
That.. doesn't ..sound like a good thing to do. Just being a jackass.
[Sephiroth UNDERSTANDS it.. but it didn't seem very good. Certainly not very Legend. Wasn't he supposed to be trying to live up to that potential?]
I'll have to wait until Thirteen sends me back. I want the actual blade, not a ... facsimile created with Lore. A Lore one might just be what I think it should be and not what it actually is. If there's powers here that can kill me hard enough I can't come back, then those same powers should be able to purge any .. uh, innate.. evil..? But if you take it from me and the ghosts of dead Ancients come along they might get mad. That's.. what the exorcists are for.
Like I said- doesn't mean you are. I don't think you are. Or would be.
[It isn't wrong to want a thing, necessarily. How he feels is how he feels. Speaking of-]
You think she'll keep sending you back? It's pretty rare, seems like, but it happens to you more than anybody I think. How's that make you feel, is it a good thing?
[The small sound he makes could be agreement or disagreement, it's hard to tell. He COULD be. He's met enough jackasses that he's pretty sure he could imitate their behavior pretty well. It just didn't.. seem like a good idea. Like doing something deliberately he knows will cause problems.]
As far as I know I'm still the only one who has, but I believe everyone could.. just not sure what the difference is. Maybe it's because I don't hate her.
[So many did, and for VERY good reasons.]
I'm counting on her sending me back, I have a lot to get done there, and I feel like I'm almost ready to do what I have to do. I think she keeps bringing me here because I still need something I can get here. Maybe some skill, maybe just.. time. Time I wouldn't have had, without Thirteen. I can't call that bad.
[But Thirteen brought some, and sent others away. He's counting on it, but it came at the price of Zack losing a lover, probably many other friends..
Some dull note of melancholy inches back into his voice, for all that he works on controlling it.]
It's not pleasant, sometimes. But because of her, I was able to meet you, and others, in time to try to make sure the things you suffered never happen again. Countless people will get to live, because you were brought here. But it doesn't seem fair, these people who don't know and won't care keep their lives, but the people like you and Aerith who paid for it with yours get ... just ... Folkmore.
[Bleakness, by degrees.]
Is that 'good'? Why can't you be saved too? Why don't you get to live?
[Even Zack can't claim to be entirely hate-free, at this point. He hates what her choices have done to Cloud (and him, to an extent) in the wake of losing Aerith. He hates that Aerith's future has been snatched away, without reason or warning especially. Could be that she favours those who put the effort into using the time, knowledge, and experience they're given in this world. Who's done that more than Sephiroth?
He listens to all of it, and at the last handful of comments, he actually laughs, though it's a kinder sound, not mockery. Typical good-natured Zack. He hopes it's not too infuriating.]
Hey, what do you think this is? [As the laugh peters off, he still sounds gently amused.] I'm here in this world, and I'm as alive as it gets. If what happened to us didn't happen, how would you know to try and change the future, huh? How would you save our other selves if you didn't know we needed saving? Every hero needs an old man to grab 'em by the shoulder and push him out of the village towards their adventure. Saying stuff like, "your future awaits! Something, something, prophecy!" That guy's important, too. That can be me this time.
[Nevermind he's like 25. The point stands!]
I think it's good. That I'm here, that I'm alive. You don't gotta be sad for me, I'm already saved.
He can't be satisfied with that. With helping a bunch of strangers who'll never know the cost tacked onto their survival and happiness, with knowing it comes alongside the people who made it happen, the ones he actually knew and cared about, don't get their own happy futures.
That those futures hinge on the whims of a notoriously fickle Fox, who might just send them back to their own terminal fates without warning. It's not enough.]
... Are you .. satisfied with that? With knowing she could just.. send you back to the Lifestream?
[The echo of Rosen's words were never far, and they seemed sharp and cutting to memory now. He can't save everybody.
You have to choose.
Except even if he chose the friends he had over strangers, he'd never be able to reach their worlds to change anything. He didn't have the power. There has to be some way around that too... doesn't there?]
Don't tell me what I'm too young to do, you whipper-snapper. ...The old guys in Gongaga used to say that, but I never really got what it meant. Are kids whippin' and snappin'?
[Zack,]
Okay, okay. She could send me back, sure. [That's been made very evident, considering Aerith.] And it'd suck. It'd be worse for Cloud. [At least he'd be gone, dead. Probably senseless, thoughtless, a cog in the afterlife, not even remembering his own existence. He's not special, like Aerith. Just a guy. Cloud would remember. Cloud would miss them both.] I did good, though. I saved the guy who saved the world. And he remembers me, now. I always wanted to be a hero, that's close enough. I don't regret my choices.
[It's a phrase he's never heard before and doesn't comment on, it doesn't.. make any sense to him either. What's being whipped, or snapped? Did it need to make sense?
The pause is lengthy.]
It's not about looking back at your choices. It's about looking forward. Having all future choices taken away. That.. doesn't feel like being saved to me. But it does to you?
Thirteen's not the one who shot me in the head, man.
[Or everywhere else.]
If I wanted to, I could have saved myself. Left Cloud behind and made a run for the city. It isn't his fault, or mine, just the shitty situation we were stuck in. That's what I mean, about my choices. I don't have a future in that world because I'd rather die a hero than live a coward. Nobody's gonna save me from death, but I can live a little longer in this world, and I think that's pretty awesome.
[It's borrowed time, but it's been good, for the most part. He's had fun. He's shared love. He's been happy. It'd been so long since he was allowed to feel joy, before coming here.]
And hey, the stuff you're doing means some other me might get to live longer. Maybe he'll do some cool stuff. Maybe he'll save a lot of people! Probably more than me. I hope he gets a good life. That'd make me happy, too.
[Wow that's... sobering, geez. And it knocks the words out of Zack for a bit, he has to take a few breaths to really roll that around in his head. What a nice, tragic feeling that is.]
Hey... if I'd had that attitude, we might not be friends now.
[This isn't his Sephiroth, technically, Zack never had to care about him. If things go as planned, he never will be. Zack likes him, though. He's a good kid, trying his best. He's glad they're friends. Some other version of him has a similar potential.
And then, with a lighter tone,]
Meeting that other me might not change your mind, though. I was soooo annoying as a kid!
[Such admittance will, later on, when he has the time and leisure and solitude to re-analyze what he's said, be understood to not be the right thing to say. He's supposed to care about a bunch of strangers, people he's never met, people he might never meet, and they were, somehow, supposed to be more important than the ones he already knows.
There's a lot of things he could say. Maybe that he should say, but doesn't.]
You're friends with everybody.
[With few exceptions, like most scientists.
It seemed a disgusting sort of irony that the people he wanted around and wanted to help were beyond his reach.]
I already have one annoying teenager to deal with in my time, I don't need two. ...Don't. Mention the sword to Cloud. It'll be there, I don't have to have it here too.
[Speaking of 1) Zack not actually being friends with everyone and 2) annoying teenagers. He bets that guy is even worse as a teen as he is fully grown. Regardless...]
I won't tell him. But if you change your mind, the offer stands. I'll help you out.
Not interested. [Sephiroth's tone switches almost immediately to flat.] I know all I need to know of both of them. Neither were there when my future self needed them most.
[Some friends. But the edge of frost melts soon enough; Zack didn't have the same tendency to abandon his comrades.]
... I appreciate the offer. If it comes with me, if I'm sent away and then dragged back a third time, then.. something will need to be done with it, I'm sure.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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It's been made regularly clear to me that how I feel affects nothing, so I've no need to share on that front beyond the feeling that I still want this weapon. I do. And apparently there's a thing certain people can do, priests and the like, which can actually purge malevolent spirits and forces from objects and or people. It might be a big problem in some places if there's people who do it as a profession.
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i cant blame you everybody knows masamune is a badass sword but the jenova thing freaks me out ngl
you should have somebody with you if you get it who could help take it to whatever exorcist and get the jenova out of it? youre doin great on your own you dont need her and id hate to see her ruin anything for you
id do it, probably vincent if u asked
also who is telling you how you feel is irrelevant ill kick their ass
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My acquisition of Masamune's blade is going to require Thirteen sending me back, and then retrieving me again once I kill the blacksmith, which may be making a lot of getting ahead of myself. In spite of her efforts at comfort and protection, I know how that story ends.
Nobody needs to say it for it to be clear. I do understand that there are more important things, don't worry. It won't interfere.
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we're kind of
things are extra bad rn. aerith got sent home. so now's kind of a bad time to be bringing u up even if its not actually your fault
it aint fair but we're working on it
cant u just like. ask for it, with the spoon, without going back? i mean its yours. even if u havent gotten it yet. hell i bet i could ask for it ive been around it enough. ive gotten a bunch of shit i never owned back home
unless u asked her and thirteen told u that and if thats the case then she sucks more than usual this month
u know what seph i think u need to get better at telling people to fuck off
i get not wanting to say it with cloud but like with other people? tell them fuck off if they make u think ur feels dont matter
def say it to me if i give u that impression. bc if i do i dont mean it and im sorry
dude i suck at texting long form can i like
send u voicemails if u dont want to do this on a phone call
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Apparently he's somewhere in Exile by all the swamp and trees strung with moss.]
Your text seemed fine to me.
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Also: thank god, he is saved.]
I can manage up to a point and then I start messin' up my own words. Sorry, brain-to-fingers was never gonna be my strong suit. Is this okay? It's fine if you wanna take your time with stuff.
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I couldn't tell, it seemed sensible enough. This is fine. Vincent ... mentioned Miss Gainsborough has left. I'm sorry. It must be hard.
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The mention of Aerith does net him a long pause on Zack's end, and afterwards, a heavier exhale than intended.]
...Thanks, kid. We're gettin' through it. Maybe don't, uh. If you get the sword, don't take it out around Cloud if you can help it. It's what he used.
[To kill her, that is. Probably obvious, considering it's such a known signature weapon for the future Sephiroth, but it's best to make sure the poor kid knows. He's already been dealt an awful hand in life.]
Before Nibelheim, I didn't have any bad memories or issues with Masamune. That Sephiroth used it to help people and get rid of real dangerous monsters. He saved my life with it, a bunch of times. It was... just the sword my friend used. It can be that again, if that's what you really want.
no subject
[That fine line between an irritation and something that'll get him killed, the risk of provoking more than anger.]
I can't ever forget, not for one moment. Everything I want to do, every item I want, everything I enjoy, every goal, everything has to be weighed against him. Is it something he'd want, is it something he'd done, or would use, or would think of? Has he used it to hurt someone else, or frighten them, or threaten them? Everything.
[A sword is simply the most obvious. He knew as soon as he'd seen it that it was the same weapon. Probably his alternate selves had felt the same pull, wanted it just as much.
He already knows how selfish it is to even think about it, the wavering uncertainty in his tone is a mark of that much. It's a bad thing to want. To become more like him. To do it knowingly. Anyone who's ever seen his grown self and that sword, through some shared memory or experience, would be affected and not for the better.]
It's.. heh. It's not really fair of me is it. I want something, so other people should just deal with it? I don't even know if I want it because it's a masterwork or because she told me it's mine.
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[He doesn't exactly hate the grown Sephiroth for what happened. It's... easier for him not to. Most of it he's only heard secondhand, even the part where he killed Aerith, something unforgivable. He was there for Nibelheim, yes, he'd yelled and fought and hated all the needless death and suffering. But they were friends, too. He saw Sephiroth help people, save people. It's done good. Sephiroth did good. Knowing for certain that Jenova was alive enough to influence people into doing evil helps alleviate so much anger (more than he'll ever admit to Cloud).]
His sins shouldn't be on you. It's enough for you to not want to end up like that, if you ask me. Y'don't have to drown in it.
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[Though he's good at schooling emotion, there's still a distinct ribbon of unhappiness.]
Unfortunately, 'shouldn't' doesn't change anything. I have a chance here he never had, and it's up to me to make up for him never having that chance. No magic fox whisked him away to a place where he could learn the dreams were bullshit at all. They feel so real when you're in them, you can believe she loves you the way no-one ever had before or ever would, that she'd protect you so you don't have to fight anymore. She makes you feel it, and it feels like everything that's been missing all your life that you've always wanted.
[If he didn't know. If he didn't know what it was.. he'd break under it too.
He wished his future self had the chance to know too, before it was too late. He wanted those dreams too by the sound of it, dull and painful and full of longing, but at least he knew it wasn't real.]
And then.. there she is, in front of you, waiting with open arms. No longer a dream. I don't know how he got out of Robio intact, forget about Nibelheim.
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[It's entirely possible that Cloud will never see anything Sephiroth does in this world as good or acceptable, that his very presence is intolerable. That's not a thing either of them can force away. Zack doesn't want Cloud to be hurt, and he sure as hell doesn't want Sephiroth to get a sword that could make the whole Jenova corruption worse. It sure sounds like it'll make it worse.
But the worst case scenario started with him finding out about Jenova, which he already knows. And as far as Zack knows (or could tell) he used Masamune for years before she fried his brain. Which means there's time. There's hope. He wants to believe there can be some kind of better future, even if it isn't for any of them. Someone should get that future, somewhere.]
Why not just go for it? Let me be there with you. Get the sword. We'll take it to whatever magic alien exorcist or whatev you want, I'll make sure you go through with it. I'll keep it away from you if it doesn't work and she tries to screw with your head. Until we figure something else out. I've got your back, Seph.
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It'll have to be an outright contest of wills, to get control of Sephiroth now.]
That.. doesn't ..sound like a good thing to do. Just being a jackass.
[Sephiroth UNDERSTANDS it.. but it didn't seem very good. Certainly not very Legend. Wasn't he supposed to be trying to live up to that potential?]
I'll have to wait until Thirteen sends me back. I want the actual blade, not a ... facsimile created with Lore. A Lore one might just be what I think it should be and not what it actually is. If there's powers here that can kill me hard enough I can't come back, then those same powers should be able to purge any .. uh, innate.. evil..? But if you take it from me and the ghosts of dead Ancients come along they might get mad. That's.. what the exorcists are for.
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[It isn't wrong to want a thing, necessarily. How he feels is how he feels. Speaking of-]
You think she'll keep sending you back? It's pretty rare, seems like, but it happens to you more than anybody I think. How's that make you feel, is it a good thing?
text wall.
As far as I know I'm still the only one who has, but I believe everyone could.. just not sure what the difference is. Maybe it's because I don't hate her.
[So many did, and for VERY good reasons.]
I'm counting on her sending me back, I have a lot to get done there, and I feel like I'm almost ready to do what I have to do. I think she keeps bringing me here because I still need something I can get here. Maybe some skill, maybe just.. time. Time I wouldn't have had, without Thirteen. I can't call that bad.
[But Thirteen brought some, and sent others away. He's counting on it, but it came at the price of Zack losing a lover, probably many other friends..
Some dull note of melancholy inches back into his voice, for all that he works on controlling it.]
It's not pleasant, sometimes. But because of her, I was able to meet you, and others, in time to try to make sure the things you suffered never happen again. Countless people will get to live, because you were brought here. But it doesn't seem fair, these people who don't know and won't care keep their lives, but the people like you and Aerith who paid for it with yours get ... just ... Folkmore.
[Bleakness, by degrees.]
Is that 'good'? Why can't you be saved too? Why don't you get to live?
chomps it all
[Even Zack can't claim to be entirely hate-free, at this point. He hates what her choices have done to Cloud (and him, to an extent) in the wake of losing Aerith. He hates that Aerith's future has been snatched away, without reason or warning especially. Could be that she favours those who put the effort into using the time, knowledge, and experience they're given in this world. Who's done that more than Sephiroth?
He listens to all of it, and at the last handful of comments, he actually laughs, though it's a kinder sound, not mockery. Typical good-natured Zack. He hopes it's not too infuriating.]
Hey, what do you think this is? [As the laugh peters off, he still sounds gently amused.] I'm here in this world, and I'm as alive as it gets. If what happened to us didn't happen, how would you know to try and change the future, huh? How would you save our other selves if you didn't know we needed saving? Every hero needs an old man to grab 'em by the shoulder and push him out of the village towards their adventure. Saying stuff like, "your future awaits! Something, something, prophecy!" That guy's important, too. That can be me this time.
[Nevermind he's like 25. The point stands!]
I think it's good. That I'm here, that I'm alive. You don't gotta be sad for me, I'm already saved.
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[It's not enough to be satisfied with.
He can't be satisfied with that. With helping a bunch of strangers who'll never know the cost tacked onto their survival and happiness, with knowing it comes alongside the people who made it happen, the ones he actually knew and cared about, don't get their own happy futures.
That those futures hinge on the whims of a notoriously fickle Fox, who might just send them back to their own terminal fates without warning. It's not enough.]
... Are you .. satisfied with that? With knowing she could just.. send you back to the Lifestream?
[The echo of Rosen's words were never far, and they seemed sharp and cutting to memory now. He can't save everybody.
You have to choose.
Except even if he chose the friends he had over strangers, he'd never be able to reach their worlds to change anything. He didn't have the power. There has to be some way around that too... doesn't there?]
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[Zack,]
Okay, okay. She could send me back, sure. [That's been made very evident, considering Aerith.] And it'd suck. It'd be worse for Cloud. [At least he'd be gone, dead. Probably senseless, thoughtless, a cog in the afterlife, not even remembering his own existence. He's not special, like Aerith. Just a guy. Cloud would remember. Cloud would miss them both.] I did good, though. I saved the guy who saved the world. And he remembers me, now. I always wanted to be a hero, that's close enough. I don't regret my choices.
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The pause is lengthy.]
It's not about looking back at your choices. It's about looking forward. Having all future choices taken away. That.. doesn't feel like being saved to me. But it does to you?
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[Or everywhere else.]
If I wanted to, I could have saved myself. Left Cloud behind and made a run for the city. It isn't his fault, or mine, just the shitty situation we were stuck in. That's what I mean, about my choices. I don't have a future in that world because I'd rather die a hero than live a coward. Nobody's gonna save me from death, but I can live a little longer in this world, and I think that's pretty awesome.
[It's borrowed time, but it's been good, for the most part. He's had fun. He's shared love. He's been happy. It'd been so long since he was allowed to feel joy, before coming here.]
And hey, the stuff you're doing means some other me might get to live longer. Maybe he'll do some cool stuff. Maybe he'll save a lot of people! Probably more than me. I hope he gets a good life. That'd make me happy, too.
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[How can someone's greatest potential happen when they're dead?]
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Hey... if I'd had that attitude, we might not be friends now.
[This isn't his Sephiroth, technically, Zack never had to care about him. If things go as planned, he never will be. Zack likes him, though. He's a good kid, trying his best. He's glad they're friends. Some other version of him has a similar potential.
And then, with a lighter tone,]
Meeting that other me might not change your mind, though. I was soooo annoying as a kid!
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There's a lot of things he could say. Maybe that he should say, but doesn't.]
You're friends with everybody.
[With few exceptions, like most scientists.
It seemed a disgusting sort of irony that the people he wanted around and wanted to help were beyond his reach.]
I already have one annoying teenager to deal with in my time, I don't need two. ...Don't. Mention the sword to Cloud. It'll be there, I don't have to have it here too.
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[Speaking of 1) Zack not actually being friends with everyone and 2) annoying teenagers. He bets that guy is even worse as a teen as he is fully grown. Regardless...]
I won't tell him. But if you change your mind, the offer stands. I'll help you out.
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[Some friends. But the edge of frost melts soon enough; Zack didn't have the same tendency to abandon his comrades.]
... I appreciate the offer. If it comes with me, if I'm sent away and then dragged back a third time, then.. something will need to be done with it, I'm sure.
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since i'm just lying here waiting for my surgeon.. so.. hungry..
eat a whole surgeon
tastes like expensive indian takeout
spicy
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